On August 16, 2013, I finished the first draft of my second feature film, Bite Me. Today, on August 12, 2017, four years and 48 drafts later, I am riding the subway to our first day of production. But the story I am telling begins far earlier and, with any luck, will last far longer.
I have this memory that still guts me when I think about it today. Im sitting in a movie theater as a middle-schooler and watching The Princess Diaries. Im not sure if you remember that film, but at the beginning the central character played by a young Anne Hathaway is supposed to be a mega-nerd. To indicate the depths of her social pariah-hood, they made Anne wear glasses and frizzed her hair out a bit. But, if youve ever seen Anne Hathaway, you can probably imagine that, even in this state, she still, you know, looked like Anne Hathaway. So Im sitting in this movie theater utterly shattered, bulldozed if that, I thought is a mega-nerd, then what am I? Im not even on the charts.
The Princess Diaries
Walt Disney Pictures
I, you see, am a chronic outsider. I was then and remain so to this day. I carry a weirdness that remains when you take off my glasses and straighten my hair (as happens to Anne halfway through the movie, so that the boy she loves can finally see through to her winning personality). My weirdness is the kind that led me to give a high school valedictory that featured a light saber not, as you might assume, because I was a huge fan of Star Wars, but because I was oblivious enough to believe that that would be the thing that finally showed the other kids how cool I was; how wrong theyd been about me all that time. It did not.
So fast forward to my 20s and Im beginning to discover, to my delight, that I just might be able to turn this weird little light of mine into a career as a storyteller, when I am suddenly confronted with the shocking news that I am an outsider in my own industry. As were making our first feature, Imagine Im Beautiful, with an all female creative team, were being told all of the stupid things that all young women trying to tell their stories are told: Well, no one wants to see stories about women; You know youre going to have to get a male producer on board at some point so that people will trust you with their money.
As gobsmacked as I am that 51 percent of the population can be considered the other anywhere, I take it in stride. I am used to being an outsider. We fight through and make the film. It does well. It wins awards and gets a theatrical release.
Imagine Im Beautiful
Having done it once, I think more seriously about the next story I want to tell and the kinds of stories that I want to put out into the world. I think back to that little girl, sitting devastated in that movie theater, and I know that I want to write a love song to the outsiders. I want to make a film about genuine weirdos. Weirdos who win and find love because of their weirdness; a film where the weirdos get to leave their glasses on.
During this time, Im acting on Boardwalk Empire and get to chatting with one of the extras, as you do on sixteen-hour days, and, eventually, over the course of the day, as you do, she reveals to me that she identifies as a vampire. Yes, you read that correctly. She was (and is, as far as I know) a part of a real-life subculture of people who identify as vampires who believe that they need to feed on energy, or in some cases blood, to stay healthy. Naturally, with my heart calling out for an outsider story as it was, I grasped her arm and said, Tell. Me. Everything.
Bite Me is a romantic comedy its my attempt to update that genre to bring the best parts of those giddy, heart-clinchingly joyful films of the 90s like Notting Hill and When Harry Met Sally, by grounding it in the cynicism and reality of the modern age. Really, though, Bite Me is about outsiders. Sarah, the films heroine (played by me), is a real-life vampire. At 29, with her blue hair and facial tattoo, she wears her self-made freak status like armor. But shes not the only weirdo. 38-year-old James (Christian Coulson), our leading man, an Englishman and IRS agent, has spent his life trying to make himself as bland and inoffensive as possible, terrified that people wont like him if he reveals any part of his hidden personality.
Then theres Faith (Annie Golden), James Bible-thumping co-worker and roommate who, as a middle-aged woman, is about to get passed over for a promotion shes worked years for; Chrissy (Naomi Grossman), Sarahs best friend and the leader of their vampire house, who fancies herself a sort of alternative lifestyle revolutionary; Lily (Mahira Kakkar) the Muslim kindergarten teacher who faces rejection from her community for identifying as a vampireEvery last person in the film is an outsider fighting to be seen. And seen they are.
When James is assigned to audit Sarahs vampire church, an unlikely spark of attraction ignites between the two misfits, and they are forced to confront whether they can make it past their differences, be brave enough to let their weird lights shine, and have the courage necessary to commit the radical, terrifying act of falling in love.
Oh, and I should mention, this film once again has an all female creative team (with the exception of one producer, Jack Lechner, who is a mensch of a man), has twice as many female-speaking roles as males, and features an 80% female crew.
So I ride to our set this morning with utter joy, hope, and exuberance to make this story about outsiders, told by a population whose stories have been left outside too long.
See the article here:
Vampire Comedy ‘Bite Me’: A Love Song to the Weirdos – IndieWire
- Vampire - Monsters - D&D Beyond - January 9th, 2019
- Vampire | Vampire Knight Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia - November 13th, 2018
- Vampire | Warhammer Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia - November 10th, 2018
- The Sun for the Vampire - Play it now at Coolmath-Games.com - November 10th, 2018
- The Vampire (1957) - IMDb - November 2nd, 2018
- The 50 Best Vampire Movies of All Time - CRAVE - October 31st, 2018
- Vampire - MTG Wiki - October 5th, 2018
- Vampire Rave is for Real Vampires - September 24th, 2018
- Caroline Forbes | The Vampire Diaries Wiki | FANDOM ... - September 18th, 2018
- Spike | Buffyverse Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia - September 18th, 2018
- Welcome - Camping Vampire Bran - September 7th, 2018
- Vampire (WOD) | White Wolf | FANDOM powered by Wikia - August 13th, 2018
- Vampire films - Wikipedia - August 2nd, 2018
- Clan | Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines Wiki | FANDOM ... - July 30th, 2018
- Vampire | Charmed | FANDOM powered by Wikia - July 5th, 2018
- Vampire Facelift | Reviews - June 29th, 2018
- Vampire | D&D 5th Edition on Roll20 Compendium - June 18th, 2018
- Real / Living Vampire Glossary of Terminology - HuffPost - September 7th, 2017
- Twilight vampire sheds his heartthrob image - Helena Independent Record - September 7th, 2017
- 'Vampire Diaries' actor Michael Malarkey debuts haunting new album, 'Mongrels'exclusive - Alternative Press - September 7th, 2017
- Are vampires real, do they really drink human blood and how many ... - The Sun - September 7th, 2017
- New Genetic Discovery Explains The Skin-Blistering 'Vampire' Disease - ScienceAlert - September 7th, 2017
- Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig is apparently making an anime for ... - AV Club - September 6th, 2017
- Ex-Vampire Weekender Rostam Batmanglij Finds Fresh Ways to Subvert Pop - L.A. Weekly - September 6th, 2017
- Rostam Finds His Own Voice On The Tender New Single 'Half-Light' - UPROXX - September 6th, 2017
- Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig announces an anime series for Netflix - The Daily Dot - September 6th, 2017
- Vampire - Manga - MyAnimeList.net - September 6th, 2017
- Joe Arpaio is a vampire that feeds on Mexicans (AKA Tlahuelpuchi) - Oaklandpostonline - September 6th, 2017
- A homeless wannabe vampire ripped off a pigeon's head and chugged its blood - Rare.us - September 2nd, 2017
- Nina Dobrev Spreads Positive Messages About Beauty On Social ... - moviepilot.com - September 2nd, 2017
- A break from the usual bloodsuckers - Harvard Gazette - September 2nd, 2017
- The Vampire Diaries' Penelope Mitchell Joins Hellboy Reboot - Dread Central - September 1st, 2017
- Harvard Film Archive to host vampire movie marathon over Labor Day weekend - The Boston Globe - September 1st, 2017
- Chosen One of the Day: the mullets of The Lost Boys - SYFY WIRE (blog) - August 31st, 2017
- Homeless man claiming to be vampire rips pigeon's head off, drinks blood in Bryant Park - New York Daily News - August 31st, 2017
- Vampire Weekend's Former Mastermind Rostam Batmanglij is Flying Solo - Out Magazine - August 31st, 2017
- Maniac beheads pigeons, drinks their blood in crowded park - New York Post - August 31st, 2017
- Hellboy Reboot Casts Vampire Diaries Alum Penelope Mitchell - CBR (blog) - August 31st, 2017
- Hellboy adds The Vampire Diaries actress Penelope Mitchell - Yahoo Movies UK - August 31st, 2017
- Como jugar blackjack en casa - Vampire weekend casino de paris - Forward Florida - August 30th, 2017
- 'Vampire Diaries' star Nina Dobrev gets candid on going makeup-free, current politic climate: 'It scares me' - Fox News - August 28th, 2017
- Is Darren Aronofsky's 'mother!' a Vampire Movie? - Bloody Disgusting - August 26th, 2017
- Star Trek Writers to Adapt A People's History of the Vampire Uprising - Den of Geek US - August 24th, 2017
- Chosen One of the Day: the many, many pants of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - SYFY WIRE (blog) - August 24th, 2017
- Nina Dobrev Just Had A Low-Key "Vampire Diaries" Reunion - TeenVogue.com - August 24th, 2017
- This New Podcast About Melbourne's Vampire Gigolo Murder Will Make You Question Everything - Triple M - August 24th, 2017
- My Pretty Vampire's Cartoonish Violence - The Portland Mercury - August 24th, 2017
- "Vampire Princess Miyu" Character Designer's Lithograph Exhibition Coming This Fall - Crunchyroll News - August 24th, 2017
- Matthew Goode to Play Lead Vampire in 'A Discovery of Witches' - Anglophenia - August 24th, 2017
- JD Payne & Patrick McKay Bite Into Fox & 21 Laps' 'A People's History Of The Vampire Uprising' - Deadline - August 22nd, 2017
- Suck city: Movie brings old vampire to New York Brooklyn Daily - Brooklyn Daily - August 22nd, 2017
- Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder gushes over wife Nikki after giving birth - Her.ie - August 22nd, 2017
- Buffy The Vampire Slayer Creator Joss Whedon's Ex-Wife Blasts Him For Cheating Throughout Their 16-Year Marriage - Bravo (blog) - August 22nd, 2017
- Marshfield 'vampire killer' loses suit against Parole Board - The Patriot Ledger - August 20th, 2017
- University's vampire expert faces employment tribunal after 'he tasted a female student's blood' - The Sun - August 20th, 2017
- New 'Firefly,' 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' Collectible Box Sets Announced - Geeks of Doom - August 19th, 2017
- Nina Dobrev explains why she left 'Vampire Diaries' - ABC News - August 17th, 2017
- 'Carmilla' Takes a Bite Out of Period Vampire Lore - Bloody Disgusting - August 17th, 2017
- Kate Beckinsale not a vampire this time (but, oh, those leather pants) - Sentinel & Enterprise - August 17th, 2017
- Vampire Vs. Climate Change Deniers Dark Fang - Comics Beat - August 17th, 2017
- 'The Vampire Diaries' new spinoff series now in talks, The CW president reveals - Blasting News - August 17th, 2017
- [Review Repost] Michael O'Shea's 'The Transfiguration' is a Refreshing and Moving Vampire Tale - Bloody Disgusting - August 16th, 2017
- A Vampire's Fight Against Global Warming & Oil Industry In IMAGE's DARK FANG - Newsarama - August 16th, 2017
- The Vampire Diaries boss to direct episode of Riverdale - EW.com (blog) - August 14th, 2017
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon and brunch happening in Glasgow tomorrow - Glasgow Live - August 13th, 2017
- The Vampire Diaries actor Ian Somerhalder and wife Nikki Reed blessed with a baby girl - India Today - August 11th, 2017
- 'The Vampire Diaries' Ian Somerhalder & Nikki Reed enjoy new daughter privately - Blasting News - August 11th, 2017
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer at 25: Where Is the Cast Now? - Parade - August 11th, 2017
- FREE VAMPIRE XXX VIDEOS & VAMP SEX TUBE MOVIES - August 11th, 2017
- James Marsters explains why 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' is this generation's 'Star Trek' - Metro US - August 10th, 2017
- Demon Hunter Sounds Like Vampire Hunter DWith Some Caveats - Dread Central - August 10th, 2017
- Katie Skelly Combines Cute Art with Sexy Horror in My Pretty Vampire - CBR (blog) - August 10th, 2017
- Fox retooling high-concept vampire pilot The Passage for Fall 2018 - SYFY WIRE (blog) - August 10th, 2017
- Sorry Fellas, But 'Vampire Diaries' Star Nina Dobrev Is Dating Someone and He's Super Cute! - Life & Style Weekly - August 8th, 2017
- Rostam Talks 'Launching a Whole Universe' With New Solo LP - RollingStone.com - August 8th, 2017
- Broken hand and dislocated elbow puts paid to The Vampire's MMA Bantamweight title bid - New Straits Times Online - August 6th, 2017
- First Look at Vampire Comedy Vidar the Vampire - Dread Central - August 4th, 2017
- Vampire Diaries Fans Are Getting ANOTHER Spin-Off - Hit 107 - August 4th, 2017
- 5 things to know, and when you can visit Vampire Penguin in Granite Bay - Sacramento Business Journal - August 4th, 2017
- 'The Lost Boys,' Found: How a Teen Vampire Movie Rose From the Dead To Become a Cult Classic - Decider - August 3rd, 2017
Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero