Last November, I embarked on a quest to find the perfect Thanksgiving horror film a movie to bridge that awkward time between Halloween and Thanksgiving. After much consideration, I awarded the dubious honor of best Thanksgiving horror film to ThanksKilling (2008), a low-budget sleaze-fest about a homicidal turkey.
Heres the thing, though. Im a glutton for turkey-flavored punishment, and there are a surprising number of Thanksgiving-themed horror movies out there. So, to kick off November, Ive decided to subject myself to four more of the most appetizing films the sub-genre has to offer.
It should probably go without saying that most Thanksgiving horror movies are pretty bad, at least if youre judging them by the same standards you would do with a mainstream horror. Instead of trying to find a good movie, my goal is to find a movie thats memorable, weird and, most importantly, fun. Im looking for turkey puns, Thanksgiving-themed murder weapons and dinner table drama that rivals Toni Colletes monologue in Hereditary. But most of all, Im looking for a movie that will help my horror-loving month find something to love about Thanksgiving.
4. Ghost Note (2017) directed by Troy Hart
I dont understand how a movie about a blues musician-turned serial killer-turned-ghost ranked this low on this list, but here we are. Ghost Note has a lot going for it a Thanksgiving seance, an impromptu musical number about unrequited teen love and a villain who looks like a rejected Cenobite design but it doesnt manage to be nearly as interesting as its premise suggests. We follow a generic goth teen who accidentally awakens the aforementioned blues ghosts while staying with her grandmother over Thanksgiving break. Cue edgy teen dialogue, questionable acting and plenty of intentional goofiness, but a shocking lack of blues ghost action. There are a couple of decent kills and some passable scares, but Ghost Note nevertheless fails to make the most of its ridiculously fun premise.
3. Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County (1998) directed by Dean Alioto
Whats scarier than being forced to spend Thanksgiving with your dysfunctional family? Having to spend Thanksgiving with your dysfunctional family while under assault from aliens, according to Dean Alioto. In this made-for-TV mockumentary, the McPherson family is tormented by extraterrestrials on Thanksgiving day. Nosebleeds, malfunctioning blenders and the worlds most awkward game of Go Fish ensue (in that order) as the McPhersons fight for their lives and then sort of give up and go eat leftovers. The MVP here is the alcoholic mom who puts down her wine glass maybe twice during the 90-minute runtime. And I havent even mentioned the parade of increasingly ridiculous expert interviews that punctuate the movie. Jokes aside, Alien Abduction is an entertaining found footage film that gets bonus points for being not just sufficiently Thanksgiving-themed, but enjoyably weird as well.
2. Pilgrim (2019) directed by Marcus Dunstan
I was pleasantly surprised by Pilgrim, a Blumhouse production about a troubled family that hires a group of pilgrim reenactors to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. Because this is a horror movie, the reenactors take their jobs a bit too seriously and decide to teach the family what it truly means to be thankful by attempting to murder them. For the first hour, the film feels very much like a middle-of-the-road mainstream horror, with an array of unlikeable characters and dialogue that isnt quite bad enough to be funny. However, Peter Giles saves the film in his role as Ethan, the villainous scenery-chewing pilgrim reenactor whose performance gets increasingly over-the-top as the movie continues. It all culminates in an unhinged gorefest full of corny one-liners, buckets of blood and a few killer (pun intended) twists. Despite its slow start, Pilgrim is a fun romp with a dark sense of humor and a fantastic third act.
1. Blood Rage (1987) directed by John Grissmer
Blood Rage is a slasher about a preteen boy who kills a couple at a drive-in theater and frames his twin for the crime. 10 years later on Thanksgiving Day, the innocent twin escapes his mental institution, and the murderous twin takes the opportunity to go on a killing spree. This movie has it all: carving fork kills; soap opera star Louise Lasser drunkenly shoveling cold Thanksgiving leftovers into her mouth and a killer who says, on four separate occasions, Its not cranberry sauce. (In each case, it is, in fact, blood.) This is an 80s slasher perfection filled with gore, teased hair and teenagers having sex in impractical locations. Adding to its charm are the gruesome practical effects by Ed French, known for his work on cult classics like Sleepaway Camp and The Stuff. Sure, theres no plot to speak of, but it sure is fun. I can easily see Blood Rage becoming a new holiday tradition.
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Thanksgiving Horror Movies - The Triangle - Drexel University The Triangle Online
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Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero