Welcome to Horrorscope, a monthly column keeping horror nerds and initiates up to date on all the genre content coming to and leaving from your favorite streaming services. Heres a guide to all the essential horror streaming this December:
Well, boils and ghouls, we made it. Its the end of 2020. And as the days grow shorter and the snow piles higher, its going to be more important than ever to keep those spirits up. Luckily for many of us, a good horror flick is as comforting as mulled wine. Served in a skull, preferably.
Were now entering an incredibly fun stretch of spooks, scares, and spectral encounters. After Halloween, Christmas is far and away the most populous holiday when it comes to seasonally-themed horror fare. Sure, you can watch Childs Play, Black Christmas, and The Exorcist III whenever you want. But in the December stretch, these ho-ho-horror films slap harder. Thats just a fact.
So, come all ye fearful and hark, for I come bearing gnarly, grotesque gifts. Namely: a series of recommendations on what to prioritize as you plan your December streaming. Make your watchlists and check them twice for a glorious group of candy-red giallos, speedy Alaskan bloodsuckers, a desolate dystopia, and one of the most bananapants films about Santa Claus youre ever likely to see.
Be sure to peruse the complete list below, calendar in hand, for a full picture of what horror flicks are coming and going from your favorite streaming services this December.
Synopsis: During a drunken stroll home, a jazz pianist witnesses the brutal murder of a famous psychic. Finding himself drawn into the mystery of the psychics death, he teams up with an intrepid reporter to crack the case while the unseen killer tries to keep them away from the truth.
When you look up giallo in the dictionary, the illustrative example is sure to be Deep Red. Its Dario Argentos giallo masterpiece. Through all the twists, turns, and revelations, the film keeps the thrills coming fast with striking visuals, inventive kills, and a stellar Goblin score.
This is a must-watch for giallo initiates and grandmasters of gore alike. Before you dive into the unthinkable butchery of Lucio Fulcis The New York Ripper or the frantic beauty of Luigi Bazzonis The Fifth Chordyou need to pay your respects. Deep Red is the giallo gateway drug that opens doors to even more giallo. And, thanks to its opening flashback (pictured above), we can confidently claim it as a Christmas movie.
The rest of Shudders Holly Gialli collection consists of A Blade in the Dark (1983),Black Belly of the Tarantula (1971),The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972),The Corruption of Chris Miller (1973),Death Laid an Egg (1968), The Editor (2014),The Fifth Cord (1971),New York Ripper (1982),The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971),The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972),Short Night of Glass Dolls (1971),StageFright (1987),Torso (1973),Trauma (1978),Your Vice is a Locked Room (1972),andWhat Have You Done to Solange? (1972).
Those new additions join these already-streaming titles (including Deep Red): All the Colors of the Dark (1972),The Cat ONine Tales (1971),Dont Torture a Duckling (1972),Knife + Heart (2018),Phenomena (1985),The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh(1971), andTenebrae (1982).
Synopsis: Every year, the isolated town of Barrow, Alaska, is plunged into a month of polar darkness. This year, as the sunlight slips away, a gang of vampires emerges from the shadows to dine out on the townsfolk. Barrows only hope for survival is an estranged but wildly determined husband/wife team.
David Slades 30 Days of Night simply does not get enough love. Were the people not ready for a film this ferocious to be so patient and restrained? Did they confuse bleakness for a mean spirit? To think something with this much style could have no substance? This is an eerie, unconventional, feral, and intentionally ugly vampire flick. You know, the kind worth losing your head over! Cold, unforgiving, and positively frigid, 30 Days of Night is one nasty piece of seasonally appropriate survival horror.
Synopsis: Its the future and the earth is overpopulated. Everything must be rationed, including the revolutionary pastel food bricks known as soylent. (I hear the green kind is the most delicious!) But when an intrepid, sweaty New York police detective stumbles across some shady dealings surrounding the much-needed meal replacement, he feels compelled to go with his gut and investigate.
Sci-fi of the 1970s has a particularly horrific gait to it. Not because it is especially gore-filled, but rather, because it is so arrestingly desolate. It reeks of nihilism and a hopeless resolve that the human race is destined to self-destruct. Which is why, in this horrible year, I firmly believe 70s sci-fi is the scariest thing you can watch.
In October of last year, the Criterion Channel hosted a marvelous collection of essential 70s sci-fi. And this December, HBO Max appears to be sneakily resurrecting something similar, with titles like Logans Run, No Blade of Grass, Omega Man, THX 1138, and Westworld hitting the service on December 1st. Of the bunch, Soylent Green was the easiest to smuggle into a horror-centric streaming guide. Its final, infamous twist is oppressive and visceral in a way that more than qualifies its cross-genre status.
However, if youve long-dismissed this flick because you already know the ending, rest assured; its so much more than that. Its real power lies in its uncanny resonances. Least of all the callous reality that the rich and the powerful are more than willing to justify the sacrifice of disposable groups in the interest of a perceived greater good. Its painful and its prescient, like all good 70s sci-fi.
Synopsis: Its Christmas Eve in the Lapland province of Finland and things are about to get weird. Joulupukki, a Finnish folk figure that inspired modern-day Santa, has been unearthed at an ancient burial mound, and local children are starting to disappear. Young Pietari and his reindeer-hunting father capture Father Christmas and attempt to sell him back to the nefarious corporation who dug him up. But Santas butt-naked elves have another plan: to free their master.
Our resident Santa-themed horror scholar, Rob Hunter, put it best: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is like a dark, dong-filled Amblin film. Which is to say this gems got warmth and spooks in equal measure. Have you really lived until youve seen a herd of naked elves running across the tundra? My vote is hell no. Rare Exports is a devilishly strange, silly, and joyfully fresh take on holiday horror. It deserves a spot on any Yuletide syllabus.
More here:
All the Horror You Need to Stream in December 2020 - Film School Rejects
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Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero