The star signs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer – SYFY WIRE

Clare: There's this really great early Xena: Warrior Princess episode that ends with Joxer's modern incarnation pitching Xena to the show's actual producer. Modern!Joxer looks, sounds, and behaves exactly like Xander. And spoiler alert: I hate Joxer, so that should tell you exactly how I feel about one Alexander Harris.

Sara: Yes! Xander and Joxer have one major personality trait and that is that they both take up massive amounts of space in a narrative. If you've ever been in the presence of a Chaotic Evil brand Gemini, that last part is going to sound pretty familiar to you.

Clare: In the cold light of 2020, he just seems like such a Nice Guy (TM). He pines after Buffy, assaults her in "The Pack", is willing to get a love potion to get Cordelia back, and abandons Anya at the altar instead of, I don't know, TALKING TO HER ABOUT HIS FEELINGS? Like, his core struggle of being insecure given his role as The Normal in a group of supernaturally powerful friends does deserve sympathy, but also Avatar: The Last Airbender did this entire thing SO MUCH BETTER with Sokka's arc. People call Aries the baby of the zodiac (I JUST CRY A LOT OKAY), but the dark side of Gemini covers this particular brand of immaturity.

Sara: He also starts sentences with absolutely no plan as to where they're going so again, we love Geminis, but if you've ever been around a Bad Gemini you know what we're saying here.

Clare: Every sign has a good version of itself and a bad version of itself. Like, when Xander gets SO ANGRY at Anya because she sleeps with Spike after he leaves her at the altar? To the degree that he's like "HOW COULD YOU SLEEP WITH THAT THAT THING! YOU DISGUST ME!" Which is such slutshaming language that Buffy runs off, because she's also been sleeping with Spike. And the show is like "ohhh he's just angry, men just do this stuff what are you gonna do?" And I'm just "WHY! IS! HE! HERE!" That's a Bad Gemini.

Sara: Random jealousy after totally screwing up? Have you seen the movie Purple Rain starring Gemini Prince? Because it's pretty much about that only with a really good soundtrack and better jokes. Xander has got to up his game.

Clare: Can you imagine if Prince had been in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

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The star signs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - SYFY WIRE

Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero