Negative energy at work can leave you feeling drained (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
During the depths of lockdown, you might have romanticised what it would be like to savour the buzz of an open-plan office again.
Yet returning after two years of relative isolation, youve realised its fraught with challenges.
Yep, you now have to navigate your work life alongside colleagues in the flesh, rather than online and its more draining than youd anticipated.
Never is this more evident than when coming face to face with the energy vampire, a term given to those people who figuratively suck the life out of their victims through manipulation, oversharing or sheer negativity, leaving them depleted and in desperate need of reviving.
Unfortunately, weve never been more vulnerable to their energy-sapping ways, or more likely to become one ourselves. Blame it on the lockdowns.
While working from home, we grew accustomed to our own company and dictating our own rules.
That means were now less tolerant of other peoples behaviour while, ironically, bringing our very own unique foibles to the table.
Weve all got a little quirkier, louder and more annoying in our habits, and developed patterns that just dont scale to the workplace, says Dr Tessa West, associate professor of psychology at New York University, and author of Jerks At Work: Toxic Co-Workers And What To Do About Them.
We seem to have forgotten whats acceptable behaviour and were having to build those skills back up.
Interrupting people, being negative, noise pollution all these things suck people dry so its important to acknowledge what your energy vampire looks like, learn strategies to protect yourself and appreciate we can all be energy vampires in various ways.
West has studied uncomfortable social interactions for more than 15 years.
Research shows that the stress, discomfort and frustrations we feel at work have a greater impact on our mental and physical health than those in our home lives, she says. Thats because we simply spend more time at work and people underestimate that.
While theres so much advice out there on how to improve our personal relationships, theres not so much regarding our workplace ones, and the difference is you cant dump a colleague or manager. Its why we can feel helpless that we cant control what relationships were entering into.
In Jerks At Work, West profiles seven types of energy vampire: Kiss Up/Kick Downer, Credit Stealer, Bulldozer, Free Rider, Micromanager, Neglectful Boss and Gaslighter.
Chances are youve come across them and, if truth be told, youve probably displayed certain traits yourself.
If youre aghast at this insinuation, take a moment to flick through the mental archives.
Ever found yourself talking for more than 30 seconds in a meeting? Then youre displaying signs of a Bulldozer. Likewise, if you tend to get anxious when youre stressed, you might have micromanager tendencies.
A lot of these behaviours are learned by being victimised, explains West, whos keen to remind us that energy vampires arent just hurting their victims, but hurting themselves too.
She adds: If youre being micromanaged a lot, youre going to learn that as a strategy and go on to micromanage others. Or, if people take credit for your work, you might become a Kiss Up/Kick Downer and sabotage them so you can get ahead.
Its why West is concerned about the trend of people quitting their jobs since the beginning of the pandemic, known as the Great Resignation.
Im nervous people are leaving because its uncomfortable at work or they have an unresolved conflict and believe the grass is greener when it isnt, so end up making a bunch of horizontal moves, she says.
Unless its something like intractable conflict preventing you from doing your job, a mismatch with the companys ethos or a manager thats not open to change, its important to resolve issues.
Communication is key not more of it but how we do it, so it isnt stressful for us or the person were talking to. Rather than tell someone how they make you feel, which can make them defensive and isnt specific enough to create change, lead with a specific behaviour they did. This could be, You didnt give me enough time to respond to an email if its a micromanage.
Being a good colleague or manager isnt about never getting stressed or being competitive but about how you deal with those urges and work around them because we all have flaws.
Here are the seven types of office energy vampires:
Two-faced and competitive, theyll be nice to the boss but treat everyone whos at the same level or below them as competition.
A wolf in sheeps clothing, these can be teammates and/or mentors wholl take credit for ideas and hard work. They have a knack for packaging an idea in a timely, eloquent way.
Usually fun and charismatic, they have a knack for targeting conscientious teams, so get away with not pulling their weight.
Well connected and forthright, they talk too much in meetings and take over group decision-making.
Intent on getting their own way, they have no interest in compromising.
Although AWOL for weeks, theyll show up at the last minute, freak themselves (and everyone else) out because they dont know whats happening, and micromanage before disappearing again.
A tendency to oversee everything with intense detail no matter how irrelevant, they also have an emergency mindset that everything must be done right now.
People who lie with the intent of deceiving on a grand scale, theyll isolate their victims then slowly build an alternative reality that suits their needs.
Jerks At Work: Toxic Co-Workers And What To Do About Them by Tessa West is out now, published by Eburyi.
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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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There are seven types of office 'energy vampires' - how to handle them - Metro.co.uk
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