I watched horror movies every night for the month of October and I’m finally over my lifelong fear – Insider – INSIDER

The last horror movie I saw in a movie theater was "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake that came out in 2003.

I tried to put on a brave face in front of my friends, who seemed to enjoy watching the slasher film where five friends run into a muderous family, but I nearly had a panic attack during the previews. I spent most of the movie with my eyes closed, trying to avoid seeing people getting brutally slashed by a chainsaw.

The experience was so traumatizing, I pretty much swore off horror movies after that for the sake of my mental health.

Since then, I came up with workarounds to still indulge in the scary genre: I'd read spoilers online or ask one of my friends who had seen a film to describe it to me. As long as I didn't have to endure being frightened, I could live vicariously through people who did love horror movies.

Still, I longed to be able to actually sit down through a horror film and watch it without closing my eyes, standing up or walking out. So I had to come up with a game plan.

I was determined to find out because I felt like I was missing out on something, especially with recent blockbuster horror films such as "Get Out." The way it faces racism head-on makes it so much more than a slasher film, but I was terrified to see the film that earned director Jordan Peele an Oscar.

I decided to make it the one movie I was determined to conquer by month's end.

Tarah Chieffi watching a scary movie through her hands. Tarah Chieffi

After doing a little research, I found out studies have actually been done to figure out why some people have a hard time watching horror films.

In 2019, Frontiers in Psychology reported that highly empathetic people have a harder time watching horror films, and I've always felt I fall strongly into this category.

I've always told people the reason I can't watch scary movies is because I always put myself into the characters' place and imagine the fear and pain that they're going through.

It was nice to know I had at least one study on my side, but I was still tired of sitting on the sidelines. I'm a grown woman. I know the movies aren't real, but could I convince my brain of the same thing?

To conquer my fears, I decided to watch one horror movie every night in the month of October, undoubtedly the scariest month of the year thanks to Halloween.

But I wanted to start off small.

After getting completely hooked on "Haunting of Bly Manor" on Netflix (though I still looked away during the scary bits), I dipped further into the genre by watchinga few classic monster movies such as "Frankenstein" and "Dracula."

Turns out, these great movies weren't that scary at all. If I could handle monster movies, I decided I might be ready for older horror movies that didn't use the lifelike special effects today's movies utilize.

I moved on to 80s slasher films such as "Children of the Corn," "Friday the 13th," and "Nightmare on Elm Street." It was hard at first, but I forced myself to watch even when I wanted to look away.

Yes, I tensed up and jumped off the couch a few times, but the more I watched, the more I realized the feeling quickly passed and I was...totally fine.

Writer Tarah Chieffi with Frankenstein and his fictional family. Tarah Chieffi

Dr. David J. Puder, the medical director at the Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center in Redlands, California told me in a statement that my approach mimicked "behavioral therapy" and advised that by watching horror films I could "progressively work [my] way into scary and scarier movies."

Thehost of the Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast also suggested to start my journey by watching one part of a scary movie or watching the films with the volume down.

"If someone wants to overcome a fear any fear then doing slow incremental steps is key," Dr. Puder said.

Dr. Puder also suggested having a friend nearby to hold my hand.

It took almost the entire month, but I finally took on Peele's "Get Out." I don't know how I would have felt had I watched it earlier in the month, but I loved it.

No spoilers, but I didn't turn away when I got scared or when things got bloody. I knew that any scary moments would pass quickly and tried to remind myself of that to stay calm.

Because I wasn't tensing up in between scares, it was much easier to take them in stride, laugh off my jumpiness, and enjoy the movie for what it was.

Although my husband is trying to convince me I'm ready for "Midsommar," I still may need a few more months of desensitization to work up the courage.

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I watched horror movies every night for the month of October and I'm finally over my lifelong fear - Insider - INSIDER