Here’s Everything That Happens In The Latest Leaked Episode of Game Of Thrones, Which Is Bananas – Deadspin

Screencap from last weeks Next Time on: Game of Thrones segment via HBO Go

Two weeks ago, the fourth episode of the current season of Game of Thrones, HBOs hit show about relatives who smooch, leaked a few days early to the delight of fans. It was a good-ass episode, and despite the leak, it scored all-time high ratings for the show.

Thatll probably happen again this weekend, since HBO briefly posted this Sundays episode Death Is the Enemy to their Spanish site and Nordic site, and left it up long enough for the internet to get its claws into it. Was it on purpose? Who knowsit worked out pretty well for them last time. Anyway, I watched Death Is the Enemy and much like The Spoils of War, it is extremely good. Its a full 66 minutes long. Heres everything that happens in it.

***SPOILERS TO FOLLOW***

***FOUNDATIONAL ONES!***

***TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DONT WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, ITS FINE. ITLL AIR ON SUNDAY AND YOU CAN ENJOY IT THEN IF YOU WANT***

Okay so, we begin north of the Wall with Jon Snows zombie-snatching party, where Tormund jokes that hes going to fuck Gendry and then warns Jon not to be so proud that he ends up dooming the North. Its a pleasant enough scene, where the disparate party all settle scores and do some catching up as they march to purposefully hang out with the scariest motherfucker on the continent. For some reason, Jon also tries to give Jorah back his familys Valyrian steel sword before Jorah wisely tells him he doesnt deserve it.

Back in Winterfell, Arya and Sansa have their inevitable confrontation over Sansas old letter to Robb Stark assuring him that the Lannisters were good, and it plays out about how one would expect, with Arya getting in Sansas face and calling her a fake Stark for betraying her family. Sansa makes the obvious and true point that she was under duress and that she had to do it to stay alive, which, Arya being Arya, doesnt sit well with her sister, who insists shed have died instead of writing the letter. Both sisters have valid points and even after Sansa points out that infighting is exactly what Stark enemies want, Arya is stubborn enough to hold onto her antipathy.

Tyrion and Daenerys hold a debrief after Tyrions (still rather baffling) summit with his brother in the Red Keep, during which Tyrion tells Dany that Jon is horny for her. Tyrion and Dany are an odd pair, since she is the all-consuming conqueror with three dragons/children while Tyrion is the intellectual realist who knows the importance of the gritty process of diplomacy. The question of conquering vs. ruling thats defined Danys arc for seasons now hasnt melted away, and if anything, now that her dragons are explicit bearers of an apocalyptic power, its become even more prominent. She can win the war at anytime if she wants, but that wont be enough. She has to, in her own words, break the wheel and ensure a better future. It will not be easy, especially when pitted against a sadist like Cersei.

When we return north of the Wall, everything is much more ominous, and the party spots a big hulking bear. All of a sudden they realize its a zombie bear and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Were now basically in a horror movie as this big fucker is biting people in the ass and generally destroying the tiny party of bandits and wildlings. Zombie Bear is more terrifying than Danys dragon, and even after Beric sets him on fire, he bites the shit out of Thoros of Myr, who later succumbs to his wounds.

Theres a short Winterfell interlude where Littlefinger reveals his plan, which is to put Brienne in between Arya and Sansa, ideally killing Arya in the process. This matters, but also, the zombie army is a much more pressing matter.

And there they are, a small detachment of ice zombies led by one of the Night Kings blue-eyed lieutenants. They fall into the partys trap, and as soon as Jon slices open the white walker, all the wights but one immediately crumble into dust. Who knows why this happens, but it is convenient for our band of heroes, who are out to capture one wight. Tormund punches the remaining wight the face and the party captures it, but not before it lets out an ominous shriek, which inevitably means the rest of the army of the dead are coming.

Fleeing, Jon and friends run onto the surface of a frozen lake, and though they immediately try to stop and turn around to keep from breaking through, the ice zombies are now in attack mode, forcing them to make for an island in the center of the lake. Thankfully, the ice cracks, and hordes of undead are swallowed up by the lake. Still, a bunch of zombies remain on the shore, trapping our heroes on the rock.

Gendry, who Jon dispatched immediately to run back to Eastwatch, somehow avoided the ice lake and reaches the Wall after an insane snow marathon. He tells the men there they need to get word to Dany because Jon and his crew will all be dead unless the Lord of Light sends us a bit of fire.

And oh, would you look at that, theres Dany in an extra-cool looking winter version of her battle dress telling Tyrion to shut up so she can fly north. Somehow, Jon and his buddies have survived (Thoros of Myr excepted) on a barren rock in a frozen lake surrounded by an army of thousands of ice zombies long enough for a raven to get from Eastwatch to Dragonstone and for Dany to ride north with all three dragons. Worrying about space and time is pretty much a lost pursuit at this point in the season.

The Hound, bored out of his gourd, starts throwing rocks at the army, which leads one particularly skeletal looking one to learn that it can just walk across the frozen lake, which has now re-frozen during the time that the heroes have been chilling on that rock. Now its time to fight again, and they somehow resist the onslaught and seem to be pretty efficient at killing ice zombies, although the scary thing about zombies isnt that each one is particularly threatening, its that there are just so many of them. I dont know how its plausible that this group of maybe a dozen frozen dudes kills as many zombies as they do, but Game of Thrones is more or less a pure action show this season, so I suppose it works.

All of a sudden, ITS DRAGON TIME! Ice and fire are finally battling and it goddamn rules, even if it is the sort of deus ex machina device that the show staunchly refused until Season 7. Dany melts a ton of zombies and things appear to be working out until the Night King grabs a javelin and hurls that fucker into one of the minor dragons, sending it crashing into the ice. Big Crossbow may not have been enough to stop a dragon, but the Night King just Randy Johnsons that fucker right out of the sky. Its hard to watch as its eyes close and it slips into the lake, dead as bricks.

Jon thinks about maybe dueling the Night King, but his buddy grabs him another javelin and Jon books it, only to be tackled into the lake by a trio of zombies. Dany and everyone else board Drogon and beat it, presumably leaving the King in the North drowning and soon to be recruited to the army of the dead.

Somehow, Jon pulls himself out of the lake, which is only just a slightly better position to be in since hes wet, alone, and still surrounded by an undead army. But hes saved by his uncle, Benjen Stark, who youll remember is the Nice Zombie who saved Bran in Season 6. He makes it back to Eastwatch, and somehow no major characters died in that ludicrous battle.

Despite the dragon vs. zombies extravaganza, there are still nine minutes left in the episode, which begin with Sansa sneaking into Aryas room to find her unsheathed Valyrian steel dagger lying ominously on her table and a bag full of faces of Aryas dead enemies. Arya, now a swaggering uber-assassin, is scary as shit as she threatens to skin Sansa and forces her to play the game of faces before leaving her with a wink and the dagger.

Daenerys tells Jon that shes now fully radicalized against the army of the dead after they claimed one of her babies. Jon, whose scars are now exposed, tells Dany that he wants to bend the knee and the viewer is made to believe that theyre about to bone.

They do not bone.

Instead, the episode ends with the Night Kings army corps of engineers dragging the dead dragon (pretty sure its Viserion) out of the lake. The Night King gently touches his head and an icy blue eye opens, and that means we got a dang frost dragon on our hands, folks.

Dany now has two dragons and also has to fight against a resurrected ice dragon someday when they inevitably fight the army of the dead. I dont think Cersei is going to listen when they show her the wight, but at least Dany knows the stakes.

***SPOILERS HAVE CONCLUDED, IF YOU SCROLLED DOWN HERE, PLEASE DO NOT SCROLL UP***

So there you have it, perhaps the most bonkers Game of Thrones episode in the run of the series. With the pace everything is accelerating at, however, Im sure theyll top it sooner rather than later.

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Here's Everything That Happens In The Latest Leaked Episode of Game Of Thrones, Which Is Bananas - Deadspin