Not sure if this will come as a relief. But if you live in Stoke-on-Trent, youve got a reasonable chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse.
Thats according to an analysis I was sent last week, which looked at 40 cities across the UK and scored them on a range of factors.
It was devised by energy comparison site Save On Energy, so was an offbeat PR attempt to promote renewable solutions.
Stoke-on-Trent came 19th in the zombie survival index, way ahead of places like Oxford, Preston, Derby, Nottingham, Leeds and Glasgow. But less safe than top scorers Cambridge, Swansea and Belfast.
Oxford may be a world-leading seat of learning, but apart from its historic university colleges making good hiding places, it is feebly prepared to withstand an attack by the walking dead.
The research covered eight factors: solar energy production, wind farms, the number of electric vehicle charging points, air quality, outdoor space, recycling centres, farming area and the number of farmers per city.
Some of these were related to what happens if electricity supplies get cut off during the bloodthirsty invasion. But I must admit, outdoor space had me stumped.
Would Hanley Parks restored fountain splash the zombies? Or would they quaver when they heard quacks from ducks at Central Forest Park?
Whatever the reasoning, Stoke-on-Trent scored highly on this factor. Surprisingly, it also came joint third for the number of farmers, who apparently make up 1.48 per cent of the citys population.
Farmers could help survivors to grow their own crops, according to Save On Energy.
But the Potteries fared worse for recycling centres, equating to seven per 100,000 people.
If you need to scavenge for day-to-day items in the apocalypse, household waste tips are a good source for things like fire wood and old used furniture.
The index reminded me of a game I used to play on long car journeys when I was a kid. Id squint at street lights and Christmas trees in windows, turning the beams of light into kaleidoscopic artwork.
If you half-close your eyes and have your imagination in full flow, you can turn anything into something else. And so we have electric charging points becoming a weapon in the fight against zombies.
OK, I can see you Nissan Leaf drivers looking smug right now.
Strangely enough, it was one of two PR emails I received last week that referred to zombies.
Staffordshire University also sent me something about its free programme of virtual events. Tomorrow (Monday, January 25), you can catch the inaugural lecture of Stella Jones-Devitt, professor of critical pedagogy.
The blurb says she will recount some of her struggles and triumphs in trying to make learning engaging for all, including her forays with donkey rides, origami frog-making, zombies and more.
I googled Stellas interest in zombies and discovered shes also critiqued zombie leadership in higher education. Typical qualities include reward for compliance, no creativity and employees who are chained to corporate ideals, bureaucracy and their desk.
Kathie is the Education Reporter for StokeonTrentLive.
You can follow her on Facebook here and Twitter here.
You can contact Kathie at katherine.mcinnes@reachplc.com
So do these creatures, who survive by feasting on humans and replicating, actually have any plus points?
Some schools have resorted to staging zombie apocalypses to inspire childrens writing. Combine it with a few make-up effects and it works a treat.
Seattle-based geography teacher David Hunter used a zombie invasion to get his students to develop escape strategies, contingencies, and find places that could provide refuge. They put their geographic knowledge into a practical situation.
Then take epidemiology which uses models to track disease and you can see the parallels with the coronavirus pandemic. Zombies are a great way to teach us about science.
Mike Godwin, a teacher in Bangkok, has even used zombies as role models.
He said: We have implemented the zombie walk whereby children walk with their arms in front of them to keep a social distance.
So the next time you worry about zombies, just look at the positives. And while youre at it, try using sustainable energy.
Follow this link:
Why you stand a better chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse in Stoke-on-Trent than other parts of UK - Stoke-on-Trent Live
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