County well-situated to fend off zombies – Berkshire Eagle

By Bill Everhart

PITTSFIELD The COVID-19 pandemic has been an ongoing nightmare for the nation but what if a zombie apocalypse hit us on top of the coronavirus? How would Massachusetts stand up to an assault by the living dead that would make 2020 even worse. (And to think we celebrated its arrival on New Year's Eve.)

That's the premise of a tongue-in-cheek but informative article by Trevor Wheelwright on the cabletv.com website. Wheelwright ranks each state in the union on its ability to withstand an assault by flesh-eating zombies and ranks Massachusetts 4th worst in the nation (New Jersey is the worst) and suggests that Bay Staters would have to flee west to the Dakotas, which are the author's safest states, or other Midwestern venues to escape the zombie hordes. There is, however, a significant flaw in Wheewright's analysis of Massachusetts, one that Berkshire residents will be familiar with. Following Wheelwright's tongue-in-cheek example, we'll explain.

To the uninitiated, the concept of the undead once solid citizens transformed as a rule by a virus or disastrous scientific experiment into walking corpses has long been popular in comic books, on television and in movies. Director George Romero's 1968 cult classic "Night of the Living Dead" and it's sequels brought the zombie invasion into the mainstream, where along with gory horror, the genre also provides black comedy and social satire.

Wheelwright makes reference to the popular, long-running AMC TV series "The Walking Dead," which has spun off sequels like so many zombies turning their nice neighbors into zombies by biting them. That's the recipe for a zombie apocalypse.

In his analysis, Wheelwright primarily penalizes states with high population density. We know from "The Walking Dead" that Atlanta fell to the zombie invasion like the city's ancestors did to General Sherman. It is easy to imagine congested Boston with its choked roadways meeting the same fate.

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But we in the Berkshires aren't Boston, which we are endlessly reminding eastern Massachusetts pols. Why would we flee a zombie apocalypse along with the populace of Worcester and Metheun when we would be relatively safe here?

Wheelwright ranks Vermont, our northern neighbor, as the 7th best state for surviving a zombie apocalypse, observing that the Green Mountain State has the "right vibe to survive with your tribe." The Berkshires, of course, have more in common with Vermont than with the rest of Massachusetts. Vermont gets high marks for low population density, as should the Berkshires, and wins points for two other criterion: farms, which can provide food when the apocalypse shuts down the food distribution network, and use of solar electricity, which will be of critical importance when public utilities are invaded or destroyed by the walking dead. Berkshire County has lost many of its farms but still has quite a few and was a pioneer in the state in advancing solar energy programs.

The Berkshires' mountain ranges also provide a natural barrier to zombie hordes. Zombie analysts know from "The Walking Dead," for one example, that the living dead follow the course of least resistance. They aren't going to be climbing the Berkshire hills like Thoreau and Hawthorne (although zombie Thoreau and zombie Hawthorne might). They are going to turn and head south to Connecticut or New York City.

It will always be the fate of the Berkshires, as a part of Massachusetts, to be compared with regions of the state with which it shares little or nothing in common. In the event of a zombie invasion, Berkshire County will be as relatively safe as is Vermont, and residents should stay put while their counterparts in Swampscott, Shrewsbury and Sandwich flee to Nebraska. The zombie apocalypse, too, shall pass.

Bill Everhart is The Eagle's editorial page editor.

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County well-situated to fend off zombies - Berkshire Eagle

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